"Come to Me with Solutions, Not Just Problems"
(And Why That's Terrible Advice)
I had a manager once who loved saying “come to me with solutions, not just problems.”
Sounded great in theory. Very empowering. Very leadership development. Very “I’m teaching you to think strategically.”
In practice? It was one of the most demotivating things I’ve ever heard in a workplace.
Not because the sentiment is wrong. I get what they were going for. They didn’t want to be a bottleneck. They wanted the team to think critically. They wanted to develop problem-solvers, not problem-reporters.
But here’s what actually happened when they said that.
People stopped bringing up problems. Not because they were solving them on their own. Because they were afraid to look incompetent if they didn’t already have the answer.
The junior person who spotted something off in the data didn’t say anything because they weren’t sure what the solution was yet. By the time they figured it out, the problem had gotten worse.
The senior person who identified a gap in our strategy stayed quiet because they needed input to figure out the right path forward. But asking for input felt like admitting they didn’t have a solution.
“Come to me with solutions, not just problems” sounds like leadership. But it’s actually abdication dressed up as empowerment.
Here’s what that phrase actually communicates, even if you don’t mean it this way. “I don’t want to think about hard things unless you’ve already done the thinking for me.”
It puts the burden entirely on the person raising the issue. And it assumes they have all the context, resources, and authority needed to solve it themselves.
But most of the time? They don’t.
They’re bringing you the problem because they need something only you can provide. Access to information they don’t have. A decision only you can make. Perspective from a level they haven’t reached yet.
If they could solve it on their own, they already would have.
Picture this. You notice something that could become a real issue. You don’t have all the information yet. You’re not sure what the best solution is. But you know it’s worth flagging.
So you go to your manager. And they hit you with “come to me with solutions, not just problems.”
What do you do?
Option one, you go away and try to figure it out on your own. You spend time you don’t have researching something you don’t fully understand. You come back with a half-baked solution because you didn’t have the context to build a good one. Your manager shoots it down. You feel stupid for bringing it up.
Option two, you don’t say anything. The problem sits there. Maybe it goes away. More likely, it gets worse. And by the time someone with more authority notices, it’s a crisis instead of a manageable issue.
Neither of those outcomes is what the manager wanted. But both are predictable results of that phrase.
Here’s what I think leaders actually mean when they say this. “I don’t have time to hear about every small thing. I need you to filter what’s important and think it through before you bring it to me.”
That’s reasonable. But it’s not what the phrase communicates.
What it actually does is create a culture where people are afraid to surface problems early. Where they wait until they have a perfect solution before saying anything. Where small issues become big ones because no one wanted to look like they couldn’t handle it.
I’ve been in organizations like this. Where people knew things were broken but didn’t say anything because they didn’t have a fix yet.
And I’ve also been the person who said some version of this phrase without realizing what I was actually asking for. I thought I was encouraging ownership. What I was actually doing was shutting down early problem identification. The most valuable kind.
Here’s what I wish I’d said instead. “Bring me problems when you see them. Let’s figure out solutions together.”
Or, “If you have ideas for how to solve it, great. If not, that’s fine too. Let’s talk through it.”
Those versions still encourage people to think. They still set an expectation for critical thinking. But they don’t shut down the conversation before it starts.
They also acknowledge something that “come to me with solutions” doesn’t. Solving problems is collaborative. It’s not a test where you either show up with the right answer or you fail.
Some of the best solutions I’ve seen came from someone raising a problem they didn’t know how to solve and the team working through it together. The person who spotted it didn’t have the answer. But they had the awareness to know something was off. That awareness mattered just as much as the solution.
There are absolutely times when someone needs to do more thinking before bringing something to you. When they’re dumping every minor issue on your desk without any attempt to handle it themselves.
But that’s a different problem. That’s about boundaries and expectations, not about requiring solutions upfront.
What I’m learning is that good leadership isn’t about making people figure everything out on their own before they come to you. It’s about creating an environment where people feel safe raising issues early, before they become crises.
Where they trust that you’ll engage with the problem, not dismiss them for not having the answer yet.
The best teams I’ve been part of didn’t wait until someone had a perfect solution. They flagged things early. They talked through messy problems together. They valued the person who said “something’s not right here” even if they didn’t know what to do about it yet.
Because catching problems early is more valuable than solving them perfectly later.
So if you find yourself saying “come to me with solutions, not just problems,” ask yourself what you’re actually trying to accomplish. And whether that phrase is getting you there.
If you want people to think critically, teach them how. If you want them to take ownership, give them the authority to act. If you want them to stop bringing you every small thing, set clearer boundaries about what needs your involvement.
But don’t shut down the conversation before it starts by requiring them to have answers they don’t have the context or authority to develop.
What’s your take? Have you been on the receiving end of this phrase? Or have you said it yourself and seen it backfire?